Lord, give me the wisdom to see. No good life comes without right discipline. Give me the grace to impose it upon myself lest others do it for me. Help me to discipline my tongue, That I may be clear rather than clever, sincere instead of sarcastic. Help me to discipline my thinking and actions, to do what is right and not what is easy. Let me get on with the job on hand doing the best I can and leaving the rest to You Amen
“Do not let your passions be your guide, but keep your desires in check.” Sirach 18:30
It is a truth universally acknowledged that every teenage girl and grown woman has a crush on at least one bad boy and one guy who’s “safe.” On the one hand, bad boys are exciting and passionate men. On the other hand, we flirt with the boy next door because of how comforting they can make us feel.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but neither of these scenarios are the kind of fairy tale that ends with a happily ever after. Bad boys aren’t like a project and nice boys aren’t safety blankets. If you are called to marriage, you need to let God take the lead and that means being smart when it comes to relationships.
There will always be a part of us that desires love and affection from another person. But we can’t chase after dangerous men or flirt with the boy next door in order to get what we want. God is the only one who can completely fulfill and satisfy us. As Saint Augustine said “You have formed us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in You.”
If you ever feel lonely or needy, spend time with God in prayer. It may not feel the same as having someone solid who can hold your hand or wrap their arms around you, but believe me, the time you spend with God is more valuable than the time you might spend trying to find validation and comfort from others.
Real love encompasses us. It transcends beyond the Hollywood romantic comedies and the fairy tales we read as girls. Real love is selfless and it means that we need to give as much as we want to get if we want truly fulfilling, complete relationships. Real love requires a balance of both passion and reason. Swinging too far towards passion can lead to self-destruction. Swinging too far towards reason leads to isolation. Self-control gives us the balance we need.
To Jesus through Mary-Monique Ocampo
